Richie /
For each year a moisturizer attempts to smooth over
I still come out of each tragedy feelin’ older
Shattered intimacy isn’t pretty
But experience shapes my creativity
Holy fuck I come back like a crusading soldier
And with age, I only grow motherfuckin’ bolder
Modern day renaissance man
I feel more than I think I understand
But give me a little pause -
Got back my hand
Now I’m snatching back my balls.
I feel in my clandestine sainthood
Like making the bible look weak
Because there is pure clarity
In every fucking word I speak.
We are out of the grey,
The moment you say you said you loved me
You wished a chance for ambiguity
Completely away.
And now your genie
He ain’t coming back
So you can make another wish,
Your heart just opened Pandora’s box
And with it comes the chance
For a hit or miss or some unexpected bliss.
They call this romance
Traumatic
Dark-tinged
Intense on the dramatic.
Interspersed
With raw affection,
Coupled
With irreconcilable erections.
For each negative moment
It takes a spiraling direction,
But fighting for those real good moments
Is what gives it protection.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Chameleon.
Richie/
I am a chameleon
I am constantly changing
Who I am
It's never forced
It's just rapid evolution
For a self-made man
Heartbreak is a catalyst
It gives me strength
In a fractured kiss
It gives me hope
When devastation
And love manage to co-exist
Life is more interesting
When not in perpetual bliss
This changes the landscape
So I can re-focus
I am as uncomfortable
With my acceptance of change
As I am perplexed
With my willingness to suffer pain
How can love undergo
Such a radical transmutation
I feel the emotions
But I do not feel their permeatation
Some fibers hold on
And bind simple elements
Of companionship and sensuality
This love, I refuse,
To ever be ordinary
Or if it does, I create its finality
For me, intimacy
Exists more in the words
We have used to define this
I wish I had
Learned this from you sooner
Because now I bite your broken kiss
Hands clawing for you body
And open to your penetration
While at the same time
Shut down
Choosing only to feel than face consternation
This time I will not fight
Because my aggression pushes us apart
No, this time I open my fists
And I passively hold hope in my heart
Attraction that mysteriously binds us
And has a way of confounding our hearts
May still be too young to stand
That's why we play to get smart
I am a chameleon
I am constantly changing
Who I am
It's never forced
It's just rapid evolution
For a self-made man
Heartbreak is a catalyst
It gives me strength
In a fractured kiss
It gives me hope
When devastation
And love manage to co-exist
Life is more interesting
When not in perpetual bliss
This changes the landscape
So I can re-focus
I am as uncomfortable
With my acceptance of change
As I am perplexed
With my willingness to suffer pain
How can love undergo
Such a radical transmutation
I feel the emotions
But I do not feel their permeatation
Some fibers hold on
And bind simple elements
Of companionship and sensuality
This love, I refuse,
To ever be ordinary
Or if it does, I create its finality
For me, intimacy
Exists more in the words
We have used to define this
I wish I had
Learned this from you sooner
Because now I bite your broken kiss
Hands clawing for you body
And open to your penetration
While at the same time
Shut down
Choosing only to feel than face consternation
This time I will not fight
Because my aggression pushes us apart
No, this time I open my fists
And I passively hold hope in my heart
Attraction that mysteriously binds us
And has a way of confounding our hearts
May still be too young to stand
That's why we play to get smart
Clandestine.
Richie/
For this to be so open
Why do I feel like
I am hidden in your cupboard
Feels like this love
Is clandestine
And exists in only
Our private words
Why do paths
Not cross
Like dances
Intermingle
Why is your society
Making me
Feel so
Single
When do we share
A stage
Like a phenomena
Made real
Do I look to
A miracle
As time passes
And I question
What we feel
Logical examinations
Only seem to confuse me
Tainted emotions
Only make me feel like
You abuse me
That this door will shut
And love will
Be broken
And harder I will fall
This insecurity comes
From the mystery
Of lives never
Overlapping
And the sense we stalled
Progress feels so
Tenuous
And I want you
To ache
To burn
For me
Like a fire that
Could never be
Extinguished
And yet I feel
You're so willing
To let go of me
Second time was sweeter
How come
The end feels much bleeker
I wish you'd
Kill my frustrations
And call me a keeper
I need some integration
Or this romance
Feels like a sleeper
And as you may feel closer
I grow suspect
And this bond
Becomes weaker
I want a Facebook status
That shows I am not
A hidden update
I want language
More respectful
Of intimacy
Than I am the guy
You date
I am substantial
I am more in this equation
I am not clandestine
I am not a figment
Of our imagination
For this to be so open
Why do I feel like
I am hidden in your cupboard
Feels like this love
Is clandestine
And exists in only
Our private words
Why do paths
Not cross
Like dances
Intermingle
Why is your society
Making me
Feel so
Single
When do we share
A stage
Like a phenomena
Made real
Do I look to
A miracle
As time passes
And I question
What we feel
Logical examinations
Only seem to confuse me
Tainted emotions
Only make me feel like
You abuse me
That this door will shut
And love will
Be broken
And harder I will fall
This insecurity comes
From the mystery
Of lives never
Overlapping
And the sense we stalled
Progress feels so
Tenuous
And I want you
To ache
To burn
For me
Like a fire that
Could never be
Extinguished
And yet I feel
You're so willing
To let go of me
Second time was sweeter
How come
The end feels much bleeker
I wish you'd
Kill my frustrations
And call me a keeper
I need some integration
Or this romance
Feels like a sleeper
And as you may feel closer
I grow suspect
And this bond
Becomes weaker
I want a Facebook status
That shows I am not
A hidden update
I want language
More respectful
Of intimacy
Than I am the guy
You date
I am substantial
I am more in this equation
I am not clandestine
I am not a figment
Of our imagination
Friday, July 24, 2009
Virtuous Slut
Richie/
Talking in circles
Like buzzards
Buzzing on my
Motherfucking
Head
Your voice
Is lingering
Like
A manly scent
In my
Sweat soaked
Bed
In front of me
Is
Something
Unattainable
It’s fun
But
It’s
Not logically
Explainable
A.D.D.
Like
M.P.D.
Schizo
Is oh!
My
State
Of Lothario
I
Can
Play along
But I dunno
Where
We go
So
I play
Sabotage
By thinking
Like
A
Motherfucking
Ho
Dude,
This
Stick
Needs
To be grabbed
And
Walked
Around the
Block
I
Need
Transferred
Energy
Like
A wake up
Call
From
A vocal
Alarm clock
Lust
Should
Drip
Like an intravaneous
Fluid
You
Had my heart
But now
You stand
To lose it
Desire
Needs
To beat
Beat
Beat me
Off
Your
Face
Needs
To surrender
To my explosion
Like a
Cleaning cloth
I
Look at the love
And i
Wonder
What happened
To the
Hell we wrought
Intimacy
Grabbed
A hold
Of my devil
And cut
Off
His
Pulsing
Cock
The eyes
They wander
The ears
They listen
And
The lips
They want
To be heard
Time
Is
Never a factor
Can
Be a fucking
Disaster
If
Not curbed
Love me
But
Bite me
Hurt me
Make
Me scream
Passionify
My
State
Like a drug
Induced
Dream
I didn’t
Invest
This
Much
To
Go
So clean
Stoke
The
Fire
And
Fan the flame
I
Need
Some
Steam
steam
Talking in circles
Like buzzards
Buzzing on my
Motherfucking
Head
Your voice
Is lingering
Like
A manly scent
In my
Sweat soaked
Bed
In front of me
Is
Something
Unattainable
It’s fun
But
It’s
Not logically
Explainable
A.D.D.
Like
M.P.D.
Schizo
Is oh!
My
State
Of Lothario
I
Can
Play along
But I dunno
Where
We go
So
I play
Sabotage
By thinking
Like
A
Motherfucking
Ho
Dude,
This
Stick
Needs
To be grabbed
And
Walked
Around the
Block
I
Need
Transferred
Energy
Like
A wake up
Call
From
A vocal
Alarm clock
Lust
Should
Drip
Like an intravaneous
Fluid
You
Had my heart
But now
You stand
To lose it
Desire
Needs
To beat
Beat
Beat me
Off
Your
Face
Needs
To surrender
To my explosion
Like a
Cleaning cloth
I
Look at the love
And i
Wonder
What happened
To the
Hell we wrought
Intimacy
Grabbed
A hold
Of my devil
And cut
Off
His
Pulsing
Cock
The eyes
They wander
The ears
They listen
And
The lips
They want
To be heard
Time
Is
Never a factor
Can
Be a fucking
Disaster
If
Not curbed
Love me
But
Bite me
Hurt me
Make
Me scream
Passionify
My
State
Like a drug
Induced
Dream
I didn’t
Invest
This
Much
To
Go
So clean
Stoke
The
Fire
And
Fan the flame
I
Need
Some
Steam
steam
Monday, July 13, 2009
Perspective
Richie/
throw
this
caged animal
some
raw meat
i
have
been
in captivity
n need
to fuckin
eat
dust
yourself
off
throw
me some
heat
i have
been
a martyr
but
now
i want
a treat
humiliation
has
tainted
what
innocence
you
let me
reclaim
broken
vision
i
don’t
see
things
the
same
i
was
too
pure
while
you
were
enjoying
the game
last
night
i got
my balls
back
with
my
individual
name
perspective
shifts
in the
wind
i
changed
this
time
within
was
like
clouds
parted
and
lights
began
to dim
what
was love
was
burning
to
an
end
fan
the
flames
if you
choose
to
i am
not
afraid
to
lose
you
i
don’t
chase
because
i
choose
not
to
i deserve
clarity
not
to confuse
you
and the
language
sets
the tone
and the
actions
break
the
throne
i let
you sit
on
and hold
my heart
‘so fun’
my
willingness
to
submit
and
suppress
shows
this
is
wrong
he
either
recognizes
what
he had
or
he
doesn't.
the end.
throw
this
caged animal
some
raw meat
i
have
been
in captivity
n need
to fuckin
eat
dust
yourself
off
throw
me some
heat
i have
been
a martyr
but
now
i want
a treat
humiliation
has
tainted
what
innocence
you
let me
reclaim
broken
vision
i
don’t
see
things
the
same
i
was
too
pure
while
you
were
enjoying
the game
last
night
i got
my balls
back
with
my
individual
name
perspective
shifts
in the
wind
i
changed
this
time
within
was
like
clouds
parted
and
lights
began
to dim
what
was love
was
burning
to
an
end
fan
the
flames
if you
choose
to
i am
not
afraid
to
lose
you
i
don’t
chase
because
i
choose
not
to
i deserve
clarity
not
to confuse
you
and the
language
sets
the tone
and the
actions
break
the
throne
i let
you sit
on
and hold
my heart
‘so fun’
my
willingness
to
submit
and
suppress
shows
this
is
wrong
he
either
recognizes
what
he had
or
he
doesn't.
the end.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Lil Man
Richie/
For Vic
there is
painful
beauty
in all of this
uncertainty
your
mark
is
fresh
like
my
stolen
virginity
you
manage
to
touch
every
protected
part of
me
each
second
that
i have
ripped
from me
reminds
me of
the future
i want
in front
of me
never
have
i ever
wanted to
be broken
so
independent
i have
been
a flirtation
a token
but
now
i want to
hear
something
anything
from you
spoken
i only
need
you to
convey
u know
the seriousness
of this
heart
you are
holding
pale
blue eyes
they
are the
windows
to my soul...
i know
you look
into them
and
know
everything
there
is
to know
lil
man,
your presence
drops
a halo
over my
face
lil
man,
your accent
takes
me
to
a happier
place
like
even now
i hunger
even
in my pain
to
know
you
more
like
i have
no
strength
to truly
shut
this door
so
i keep
it open
so you
can
walk
right
in
i want
you
on your
own
not
my
ultimatum
For Vic
there is
painful
beauty
in all of this
uncertainty
your
mark
is
fresh
like
my
stolen
virginity
you
manage
to
touch
every
protected
part of
me
each
second
that
i have
ripped
from me
reminds
me of
the future
i want
in front
of me
never
have
i ever
wanted to
be broken
so
independent
i have
been
a flirtation
a token
but
now
i want to
hear
something
anything
from you
spoken
i only
need
you to
convey
u know
the seriousness
of this
heart
you are
holding
pale
blue eyes
they
are the
windows
to my soul...
i know
you look
into them
and
know
everything
there
is
to know
lil
man,
your presence
drops
a halo
over my
face
lil
man,
your accent
takes
me
to
a happier
place
like
even now
i hunger
even
in my pain
to
know
you
more
like
i have
no
strength
to truly
shut
this door
so
i keep
it open
so you
can
walk
right
in
i want
you
on your
own
not
my
ultimatum
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
variété
Richie/
he says why change it up
cuz i enjoy it
variety is the spice of life
vanilla destroys it
head in
is an accomplishment
public sinnin’
in an arrondissement
weeks
to
get
accustomed
to this position
i
just
succumbed
to a new
religion
daily
devotions
on your
yeah
yeah
i
want
you
anytime
of
nite
in my
bed
yeah
chili
pepper
hot
to
touch
i
want
to
fuck
i want
to
fuck
so much
grab
a hold
of
it
with
intensity
slide
in
to
your
warm
density
i
want
you
in
i want
you
into
me
horny normalcy
you
perpetrate
my mental
space
i think
about
holdin
out
for
4
solid
days
then
filling
you
up
with
all the
madness
that
made
i
want
to
you
to give
back
what
i just
gave
lay it
out
like
splatter
paint
on
my
face
life is
sweet
as
sweet
as you
taste
i
don’t
want
to get
too comfortable
with this
i
want
something
more
than
a loving
kiss
say
what
you
want
when
you fuck
with me
empty
out
the preconceptions
you
have
around me
blank
wall
draw
some
figures
and shapes
i’ll
feed
you
my...
like some
roman-time
grapes
i
have
a natural
irreverence
for
feeding
you
with
what you
expect
i
will
give you
love
but
i want
you
erect
come
here
come
closer
variety
is
the way
i
love
and protect
he says why change it up
cuz i enjoy it
variety is the spice of life
vanilla destroys it
head in
is an accomplishment
public sinnin’
in an arrondissement
weeks
to
get
accustomed
to this position
i
just
succumbed
to a new
religion
daily
devotions
on your
yeah
yeah
i
want
you
anytime
of
nite
in my
bed
yeah
chili
pepper
hot
to
touch
i
want
to
fuck
i want
to
fuck
so much
grab
a hold
of
it
with
intensity
slide
in
to
your
warm
density
i
want
you
in
i want
you
into
me
horny normalcy
you
perpetrate
my mental
space
i think
about
holdin
out
for
4
solid
days
then
filling
you
up
with
all the
madness
that
made
i
want
to
you
to give
back
what
i just
gave
lay it
out
like
splatter
paint
on
my
face
life is
sweet
as
sweet
as you
taste
i
don’t
want
to get
too comfortable
with this
i
want
something
more
than
a loving
kiss
say
what
you
want
when
you fuck
with me
empty
out
the preconceptions
you
have
around me
blank
wall
draw
some
figures
and shapes
i’ll
feed
you
my...
like some
roman-time
grapes
i
have
a natural
irreverence
for
feeding
you
with
what you
expect
i
will
give you
love
but
i want
you
erect
come
here
come
closer
variety
is
the way
i
love
and protect
UNREFINED AMBITION/CONTEXT/
Richie/
plane rides are like a cocoon for me. almost like a certain ‘muse’ when he is sleeping in bed beside me and i have a laptop in my lap... cohesiveness and clarity come to me, and it’s a free flow of thoughts and words and feelings...
so, i am on the plane, and i find myself grinding my teeth... watching the news on CNN about the court ruling on gay marriage in California... and almost immediately after a commercial for MILK pops up... that movie... that man’s life spoke to me in a transformative way. it still ripples through me... like a reverberation... it has changed how i live.
my socialization... my life is no longer just my own... it is me tapping into my power... into my unique strength and beginning to formulate how i am going to change things... i do not see myself on a Harvey Milk level - yet - but my ambitions, while unrefined, are every bit as big as his.
i realized this last week... when hangin with diego at my rooftop at 4AM... that not everyone goes through life with ambitions. i thought it was absurd that someone could be in their twenties without a career path or plan for life. lol only to learn that i was a bit of a freak in my 20s and just kind of always had some goals... something driving me...
i have known since a kid that my life had a purpose larger than me... i have always known i was unique in different ways... i know the power of my ideas. the power behind language. the power behind my approachability. the power behind my empathy. the power in being able to stand alone. and the power to fight.
i feel like i am standing on a battlefield and everything resonates deeper. i don’t want to just like guys - i want to love and fuck with intensity. i don’t want to just pray - i want to create a new religion. i don’t want to believe what i am fed - i want to co-author a new bible where my people are given the same rights with the same fucking language.
my socialization is not trite. it is, for me, about connecting to people. eclectic. they all bring different energy to the equation and a broader understanding of my community.
i just feel like time is ticking like a time bomb.
and my need to affect change is like a roar now - on a level so heightened that i can no longer ignore it or my fucking power to effect change.
plane rides are like a cocoon for me. almost like a certain ‘muse’ when he is sleeping in bed beside me and i have a laptop in my lap... cohesiveness and clarity come to me, and it’s a free flow of thoughts and words and feelings...
so, i am on the plane, and i find myself grinding my teeth... watching the news on CNN about the court ruling on gay marriage in California... and almost immediately after a commercial for MILK pops up... that movie... that man’s life spoke to me in a transformative way. it still ripples through me... like a reverberation... it has changed how i live.
my socialization... my life is no longer just my own... it is me tapping into my power... into my unique strength and beginning to formulate how i am going to change things... i do not see myself on a Harvey Milk level - yet - but my ambitions, while unrefined, are every bit as big as his.
i realized this last week... when hangin with diego at my rooftop at 4AM... that not everyone goes through life with ambitions. i thought it was absurd that someone could be in their twenties without a career path or plan for life. lol only to learn that i was a bit of a freak in my 20s and just kind of always had some goals... something driving me...
i have known since a kid that my life had a purpose larger than me... i have always known i was unique in different ways... i know the power of my ideas. the power behind language. the power behind my approachability. the power behind my empathy. the power in being able to stand alone. and the power to fight.
i feel like i am standing on a battlefield and everything resonates deeper. i don’t want to just like guys - i want to love and fuck with intensity. i don’t want to just pray - i want to create a new religion. i don’t want to believe what i am fed - i want to co-author a new bible where my people are given the same rights with the same fucking language.
my socialization is not trite. it is, for me, about connecting to people. eclectic. they all bring different energy to the equation and a broader understanding of my community.
i just feel like time is ticking like a time bomb.
and my need to affect change is like a roar now - on a level so heightened that i can no longer ignore it or my fucking power to effect change.
UNREFINED AMBITION/
Richie/
this life is hard
this life is coarse
and unrefined
this life is wild
and abrasive
and it is mine
this reality
is accepted
not as if it is divine
what is, what is
is my spirit
playing with time
i feel it like
an urgency
and it burns
inside of me
it pushes
tears from my eyes
like there
is too much
intensity
i will not
go through the motions
i will
feel things through
i will give
all of myself
and more
to you
my intuition
is my moral compass
and it guides
me to a future
i could not foresee
i see this world
with new eyes
and i ache
to set
my people
free
make me
a legacy
make me
stand for so much more
than what i see
more than
labels
more than
a materiality
reach inside
and pull out
it out of me
it was
latent
but now
it roars
with
ferocity
this life is hard
this life is coarse
and unrefined
this life is wild
and abrasive
and it is mine
this reality
is accepted
not as if it is divine
what is, what is
is my spirit
playing with time
i feel it like
an urgency
and it burns
inside of me
it pushes
tears from my eyes
like there
is too much
intensity
i will not
go through the motions
i will
feel things through
i will give
all of myself
and more
to you
my intuition
is my moral compass
and it guides
me to a future
i could not foresee
i see this world
with new eyes
and i ache
to set
my people
free
make me
a legacy
make me
stand for so much more
than what i see
more than
labels
more than
a materiality
reach inside
and pull out
it out of me
it was
latent
but now
it roars
with
ferocity
Sunday, May 24, 2009
E.B.B.
Richie/
you have me
pissed
so fucking
angry
i can’t
tell anyone
cuz they’d
think
i was crazy
how
do you
feel
things
so
steady
i
like
darkness
but
this shit
is shady
you ran
so hot
for me
you burnt
my hand
your texts
so intense
i was
already
your man
lesbian
chic
i was
invitin your
ass to move in
way before
we
engaged
in a night
of sin
jus showed
after
talkin
with you
my willingness
to let
you in
and now
i am hazy
where
we pick up
or if
this ends
mental
fuck
ran
so hot
now we
run
so cold
like
gettin
emotional
blue
balls
i
have to
release
then
your
ass
stalls
e.b.b.
and
flow
fuck
this
stop
n
go
love +
lust
shouldn’t
be
a battleground
i
can’t help
i like
gettin’ around
the town
your jealousy
of outside
attention
feels
unsound
when
you were
all i wanted
to get down
e.b.b.
babe’s
pullin back
so afraid
he’ll
have a heart
attack
but
my love isn’t
like usin
hard
crack
i
can be addictive
but not
like that
bored
with
the stop
n
go
these blue
balls
are
so
fuckin emo
it’s
like a fuckin
tease
if
we
r a go
then
step
up
and give
it some
ease
you have me
pissed
so fucking
angry
i can’t
tell anyone
cuz they’d
think
i was crazy
how
do you
feel
things
so
steady
i
like
darkness
but
this shit
is shady
you ran
so hot
for me
you burnt
my hand
your texts
so intense
i was
already
your man
lesbian
chic
i was
invitin your
ass to move in
way before
we
engaged
in a night
of sin
jus showed
after
talkin
with you
my willingness
to let
you in
and now
i am hazy
where
we pick up
or if
this ends
mental
fuck
ran
so hot
now we
run
so cold
like
gettin
emotional
blue
balls
i
have to
release
then
your
ass
stalls
e.b.b.
and
flow
fuck
this
stop
n
go
love +
lust
shouldn’t
be
a battleground
i
can’t help
i like
gettin’ around
the town
your jealousy
of outside
attention
feels
unsound
when
you were
all i wanted
to get down
e.b.b.
babe’s
pullin back
so afraid
he’ll
have a heart
attack
but
my love isn’t
like usin
hard
crack
i
can be addictive
but not
like that
bored
with
the stop
n
go
these blue
balls
are
so
fuckin emo
it’s
like a fuckin
tease
if
we
r a go
then
step
up
and give
it some
ease
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
the road to hana.
richie/
for me, the journey to hana was the real pay-off...
the sharp turns, the forced yields, the rawness of the environment almost eclipsed the beauty of hana itself.
it is a unique form of thoughtfulness...for me... when my seriousness or consternation is transformed into something bright... i suck at visually documenting my life... but the older i become... and the more i open myself up to my new friends, to new experiences... the more i want to be a man you’d write about... a man with a legacy and story... the pictures from maui with teri show someone new... the smile is back. the laughter is back. the ‘fuck it’ is back. and there’s light...
i believe that this energy and this confidence will become an attractive force. and that despite my desire to have a hedonistic summer as a realized bachelor... i just know in my gut that is probably going to be unlikely.
i am no longer holding back. i don’t have any walls. i have no fear. absolutely no fear in pulling someone in close. of being intimate. of being willing to take on new roles and experience new things (in bed).
and i think that energy, more than anything i could physically offer someone, is going to be the attractive force that brings my next someone into my life.
i wasn’t ready before. not on all levels.
the heart may have pushed for me to be lovey - but my words, my actions have always kind of said otherwise. this whole year has been a fierce struggle between saying i want to be single and i want to be in a relationship. now i have no qualms saying that a relationship is probably in the cards. it’s my hana. pairing up. but the journey to get to that is the real turn-on.
there is bliss is understanding your purpose. in knowing exactly what you believe and defines you. and then feeling up to the challenge of coming together with someone who complements you - not completes you.
for me, the journey to hana was the real pay-off...
the sharp turns, the forced yields, the rawness of the environment almost eclipsed the beauty of hana itself.
it is a unique form of thoughtfulness...for me... when my seriousness or consternation is transformed into something bright... i suck at visually documenting my life... but the older i become... and the more i open myself up to my new friends, to new experiences... the more i want to be a man you’d write about... a man with a legacy and story... the pictures from maui with teri show someone new... the smile is back. the laughter is back. the ‘fuck it’ is back. and there’s light...
i believe that this energy and this confidence will become an attractive force. and that despite my desire to have a hedonistic summer as a realized bachelor... i just know in my gut that is probably going to be unlikely.
i am no longer holding back. i don’t have any walls. i have no fear. absolutely no fear in pulling someone in close. of being intimate. of being willing to take on new roles and experience new things (in bed).
and i think that energy, more than anything i could physically offer someone, is going to be the attractive force that brings my next someone into my life.
i wasn’t ready before. not on all levels.
the heart may have pushed for me to be lovey - but my words, my actions have always kind of said otherwise. this whole year has been a fierce struggle between saying i want to be single and i want to be in a relationship. now i have no qualms saying that a relationship is probably in the cards. it’s my hana. pairing up. but the journey to get to that is the real turn-on.
there is bliss is understanding your purpose. in knowing exactly what you believe and defines you. and then feeling up to the challenge of coming together with someone who complements you - not completes you.
touched by a sinner.
Richie/
his hands
are bloody
from crushin’
other guys’ hearts
his smile
corrupts
the laughter
it likes to spark
but he comes
to me
and moves
against my skin
he acts
angelic
but i know
how this night will end
i prayed
this morning
now
this evening
i’m gettin’ touched by sin
it feels
like
heaven
just came
on my back
white
insanity
marking
me
for a heart attack
i act
so innocent
but i like
to play
like that
aggressor
can be
passé
and unkind
i also break
hearts
and minds
come
fuck
with mine
let me play
a different role
this time
heartbreaker
do your damage
but i heal
too fast
you can touch
my heart
but pain
never lasts
for me
pain is pleasure
pain is creativity
i let you
rape
my emotions
i let
you rage
inside of me
because
sweet
sweet
sugar
is not my taste
i
want to
feel
your liquid heat
across my face
mm mmm
i think
i like
being
taken off my pedestal
and slammed
to the floor
demeaning
bite
into my confidence
i know
what i represent
can you
make me
your whore
let’s
spread
my money
across the sheets
and soak
‘em
in cream
there’s
an endless
reservoir
for us
to stay
unclean
when
you get
a lil stronger
i want
to wrestle
you
and pin
you to the ground
when
you
are sleeping
i want
to
fuck
you
and
for you to
not make
one fucking
sound
mmm mmm
hedonism
extremism
no middle
ground
punch
me
sinner
and
i
will cum
around
his hands
are bloody
from crushin’
other guys’ hearts
his smile
corrupts
the laughter
it likes to spark
but he comes
to me
and moves
against my skin
he acts
angelic
but i know
how this night will end
i prayed
this morning
now
this evening
i’m gettin’ touched by sin
it feels
like
heaven
just came
on my back
white
insanity
marking
me
for a heart attack
i act
so innocent
but i like
to play
like that
aggressor
can be
passé
and unkind
i also break
hearts
and minds
come
fuck
with mine
let me play
a different role
this time
heartbreaker
do your damage
but i heal
too fast
you can touch
my heart
but pain
never lasts
for me
pain is pleasure
pain is creativity
i let you
rape
my emotions
i let
you rage
inside of me
because
sweet
sweet
sugar
is not my taste
i
want to
feel
your liquid heat
across my face
mm mmm
i think
i like
being
taken off my pedestal
and slammed
to the floor
demeaning
bite
into my confidence
i know
what i represent
can you
make me
your whore
let’s
spread
my money
across the sheets
and soak
‘em
in cream
there’s
an endless
reservoir
for us
to stay
unclean
when
you get
a lil stronger
i want
to wrestle
you
and pin
you to the ground
when
you
are sleeping
i want
to
fuck
you
and
for you to
not make
one fucking
sound
mmm mmm
hedonism
extremism
no middle
ground
punch
me
sinner
and
i
will cum
around
proximity to mystery
Richie/
Dedicated to J.T.
there is something unique
in this space between us
so different, for me,
that i have no words
to clearly describe it
it is like a haunting
a spell unbroken
like a hallucination
from absinthe
and i imbibe it
i want
to close
this proximity
and
make you
so close
i don’t dare
to breathe
like
one
impulsive move
could prompt
you
to leave
i
am not rebounding
i am
fascinated
by a stranger
i
am hitchhiking
with no
real sense
of clear & present
danger
my heart
is always
a casualty
i am willing
to put at risk
the anticipation
of knowing
more
is something
i didn’t
know i missed
you are
mysterious
and
an education
in a different
kind of flirtation
because
you
invade
my sleep
you provoke
my daytime
imagination
this
is different
than
lust
or my
typical
heated
crush
you’re
complicated...
you have
dark
histories
tinging
simple
conversations...
and i am
drawn
to that...
your strength
to face demons
invasions...
feels
so chill...
yet
so intense...
makes me
lose
any ounce
of pretense:
i want
to close
this proximity
and
make you
so close
i don’t dare
to breathe
like
one
impulsive move
could prompt
you
to leave
Dedicated to J.T.
there is something unique
in this space between us
so different, for me,
that i have no words
to clearly describe it
it is like a haunting
a spell unbroken
like a hallucination
from absinthe
and i imbibe it
i want
to close
this proximity
and
make you
so close
i don’t dare
to breathe
like
one
impulsive move
could prompt
you
to leave
i
am not rebounding
i am
fascinated
by a stranger
i
am hitchhiking
with no
real sense
of clear & present
danger
my heart
is always
a casualty
i am willing
to put at risk
the anticipation
of knowing
more
is something
i didn’t
know i missed
you are
mysterious
and
an education
in a different
kind of flirtation
because
you
invade
my sleep
you provoke
my daytime
imagination
this
is different
than
lust
or my
typical
heated
crush
you’re
complicated...
you have
dark
histories
tinging
simple
conversations...
and i am
drawn
to that...
your strength
to face demons
invasions...
feels
so chill...
yet
so intense...
makes me
lose
any ounce
of pretense:
i want
to close
this proximity
and
make you
so close
i don’t dare
to breathe
like
one
impulsive move
could prompt
you
to leave
someone better.
Richie/
my heartbeat would speed like i had done too much blow
my oxygen would feel limited, like my throat would close
this butterfly would rage inside like a panic flutter of anxiety
and dark predictions would cloud my mental stability
this attack was born out of insecurity and poor decision-making
i put too much of my happiness into us and it was heart-breaking
the weight of distrust
and an open solution
the trials of lust
and outside pollution
flawed completion
looking past the cracks
realizes those predictions -
this will not last
my eyes would travel and scan the crowd for a flirtation
ADD i liked the absurdity of strangers’ reciprocations
this culture is like a petri dish for growing something unrealistic
always looking for someone better becomes serialistic
a type, a look, a preference, an overwhelming high
clouds the possibility of what’s in front of our eyes
nothing really ends
that i know,
that i know
time may not come now
but so?
so?
i see who
is in front of me this time
and i have no rush
to call you mine
we’ll do
what we do
until you see
what is here too
my heartbeat would speed like i had done too much blow
my oxygen would feel limited, like my throat would close
this butterfly would rage inside like a panic flutter of anxiety
and dark predictions would cloud my mental stability
this attack was born out of insecurity and poor decision-making
i put too much of my happiness into us and it was heart-breaking
the weight of distrust
and an open solution
the trials of lust
and outside pollution
flawed completion
looking past the cracks
realizes those predictions -
this will not last
my eyes would travel and scan the crowd for a flirtation
ADD i liked the absurdity of strangers’ reciprocations
this culture is like a petri dish for growing something unrealistic
always looking for someone better becomes serialistic
a type, a look, a preference, an overwhelming high
clouds the possibility of what’s in front of our eyes
nothing really ends
that i know,
that i know
time may not come now
but so?
so?
i see who
is in front of me this time
and i have no rush
to call you mine
we’ll do
what we do
until you see
what is here too
hustle.
richie/
cum on a money strewn bed
dollar signs
like lightbulbs
goin off
gettin off
over our heads
blurring lines between
friends and transactions
fucking with definitions
for carnal attractions
it’s a hustle
hustle
hustle
adrenaline
flow
it’s a hustle
transact
shun
then
you go
and
there ya go
use use use me
like an addict
pop that vein
abuse abuse abuse me
rush rush
rush right on thru me
hustle
speed on
like you
cruised me
who is the patron
and who is the cracked out whore
who has feelings
who just wants to fuck some more
fingerprints
leave tracks
on unclean skin
like unmarked
bills
i am here countin
no one
need know
the hustle
and the go
sometimes
we just
need to get fucked
or have a good blow
five stars
in the night
behind the hotel door
on hands and knees
pummeled
like a hi class whore
the pay
the coup
is the touch
and the go
i jus
needed to
cum
and you
make it
so
so
so
fuckin dark
yea, it’s fuckin dark
i am
the blood
and you
are
my hungry shark
hustle
hustle
i need
my adrenaline
flow
fuck
fuck
fuck
let’s cum
and then
lemme go
this
transaction
is approved
and
you got some credit
you got
me
you got
my body
so don’t think
just bed it
hustle, hustler.
cum on a money strewn bed
dollar signs
like lightbulbs
goin off
gettin off
over our heads
blurring lines between
friends and transactions
fucking with definitions
for carnal attractions
it’s a hustle
hustle
hustle
adrenaline
flow
it’s a hustle
transact
shun
then
you go
and
there ya go
use use use me
like an addict
pop that vein
abuse abuse abuse me
rush rush
rush right on thru me
hustle
speed on
like you
cruised me
who is the patron
and who is the cracked out whore
who has feelings
who just wants to fuck some more
fingerprints
leave tracks
on unclean skin
like unmarked
bills
i am here countin
no one
need know
the hustle
and the go
sometimes
we just
need to get fucked
or have a good blow
five stars
in the night
behind the hotel door
on hands and knees
pummeled
like a hi class whore
the pay
the coup
is the touch
and the go
i jus
needed to
cum
and you
make it
so
so
so
fuckin dark
yea, it’s fuckin dark
i am
the blood
and you
are
my hungry shark
hustle
hustle
i need
my adrenaline
flow
fuck
fuck
fuck
let’s cum
and then
lemme go
this
transaction
is approved
and
you got some credit
you got
me
you got
my body
so don’t think
just bed it
hustle, hustler.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
CUTTING THREADS
(Richie)
i didn’t need a band aid
i never really got in a good cry
i immediately got introspective
i got serious
and i asked a lot of why’s
i didn’t have poetry
cuz i didn’t have a muse
i didn’t have articulation
of what i gained
of what i losed
cutting strings
yet threads
still hold on
fragile
like memories
or pretty songs
i question
less out of insecurity
and more
out of pride
did you really
ever care
or was this
a diary entry
you’d rather hide
i surprised
myself
with the ability
to attach
emotion
when it
has been out of
my grasp
coldly
in tune
if i follow
my writings
i never
assumed it
would last
there was always
hesitation
there was always
darkness
tinging a
‘perfect’ night
there was always
something
unsettling
in how
when you left
things didn’t
feel right
like i was
a party
an
event
a thing to
fit in
for the week
but all
i wanted:
a companion,
affection,
i didn’t
need
definition
for the heat
life is
full
with friends
but
i was
into
unique intimacy
we did
the clean break
but
you left
parts of
you
inside of me
and now i
am just cutting threads
but their fibers
want to issue
some resistance
you let
me cut, cut
cut
until
i no longer
have any insistence
to feel anything
at all
i didn’t need a band aid
i never really got in a good cry
i immediately got introspective
i got serious
and i asked a lot of why’s
i didn’t have poetry
cuz i didn’t have a muse
i didn’t have articulation
of what i gained
of what i losed
cutting strings
yet threads
still hold on
fragile
like memories
or pretty songs
i question
less out of insecurity
and more
out of pride
did you really
ever care
or was this
a diary entry
you’d rather hide
i surprised
myself
with the ability
to attach
emotion
when it
has been out of
my grasp
coldly
in tune
if i follow
my writings
i never
assumed it
would last
there was always
hesitation
there was always
darkness
tinging a
‘perfect’ night
there was always
something
unsettling
in how
when you left
things didn’t
feel right
like i was
a party
an
event
a thing to
fit in
for the week
but all
i wanted:
a companion,
affection,
i didn’t
need
definition
for the heat
life is
full
with friends
but
i was
into
unique intimacy
we did
the clean break
but
you left
parts of
you
inside of me
and now i
am just cutting threads
but their fibers
want to issue
some resistance
you let
me cut, cut
cut
until
i no longer
have any insistence
to feel anything
at all
Sunday, April 19, 2009
DEFINITION OF LOVE.
(Richie)
Love.
It’s the kind of word when spoken for the first time,
that you can never take back.
It’s the line that once crossed has immediate ramifications.
It can prompt unity
or push imbalance...
Maybe there is truth in my Chinese sign...
the Fire Dragon.
There is no middle ground with me.
And I use my awareness of the significance of language,
of the power behind words,
to create change
by pushing them out
or holding them in.
Sometimes silence is just as equally adept
at pushing for closure.
When I told him “I love you,”
I knew that I believed it.
And I knew that my definition or the attachment I had to it,
was more complicated than I would ever let on.
I fought to hold on...
but I was also too tired of fighting for something
that the other didn’t believe in.
I just knew I had to use that word
to drive a clean break that would at least end
with him knowing his significance.
I mean, is it imaginable
that you can come to a definition of love
by going through a path as carnal as sex?
The old me would have never have thought so.
I would have seen it as the stereotypical gay man’s inability
to be intimate with someone on a cerebral or emotional level.
And to push the rewards of the physical.
And yet here I am,
experiencing a surprising rush of love
that is as confusing as it was simple for me.
To be as exhibitionistic as I am,
and to have little qualms in displaying my body
with confidence and pride now...
there is an intrinsic part of me
that wants to respect it
in ways I never did before.
It sounds contradictory...
to enjoy flaunting it and receiving attention
but then not wanting to give it away without conscience...
So this newfound closure
is a relief as much as it a painful loss...
Relief in that the struggle between
is this going to last tomorrow or not
is now off the table...
And a profound loss
because my definition of this love
was the sexual intimacy I was able to come to
and trust...
It had become a channel for experimentation
and as weird as all of it sounds,
it is the greatest loss at this point.
Which circles back to the use of the word love.
I use it daily with my family, friends, and even my co-workers.
Sometimes I just call someone to say I love you.
But I intuitively knew it was a loaded word.
And by throwing it out,
despite the context behind it,
I was basically closing the curtain
on my definition of love
and having to walk away from someone
who had been my creative muse
as much as he was a touchstone
for friendship and exploration.
Love.
It’s the kind of word when spoken for the first time,
that you can never take back.
It’s the line that once crossed has immediate ramifications.
It can prompt unity
or push imbalance...
Maybe there is truth in my Chinese sign...
the Fire Dragon.
There is no middle ground with me.
And I use my awareness of the significance of language,
of the power behind words,
to create change
by pushing them out
or holding them in.
Sometimes silence is just as equally adept
at pushing for closure.
When I told him “I love you,”
I knew that I believed it.
And I knew that my definition or the attachment I had to it,
was more complicated than I would ever let on.
I fought to hold on...
but I was also too tired of fighting for something
that the other didn’t believe in.
I just knew I had to use that word
to drive a clean break that would at least end
with him knowing his significance.
I mean, is it imaginable
that you can come to a definition of love
by going through a path as carnal as sex?
The old me would have never have thought so.
I would have seen it as the stereotypical gay man’s inability
to be intimate with someone on a cerebral or emotional level.
And to push the rewards of the physical.
And yet here I am,
experiencing a surprising rush of love
that is as confusing as it was simple for me.
To be as exhibitionistic as I am,
and to have little qualms in displaying my body
with confidence and pride now...
there is an intrinsic part of me
that wants to respect it
in ways I never did before.
It sounds contradictory...
to enjoy flaunting it and receiving attention
but then not wanting to give it away without conscience...
So this newfound closure
is a relief as much as it a painful loss...
Relief in that the struggle between
is this going to last tomorrow or not
is now off the table...
And a profound loss
because my definition of this love
was the sexual intimacy I was able to come to
and trust...
It had become a channel for experimentation
and as weird as all of it sounds,
it is the greatest loss at this point.
Which circles back to the use of the word love.
I use it daily with my family, friends, and even my co-workers.
Sometimes I just call someone to say I love you.
But I intuitively knew it was a loaded word.
And by throwing it out,
despite the context behind it,
I was basically closing the curtain
on my definition of love
and having to walk away from someone
who had been my creative muse
as much as he was a touchstone
for friendship and exploration.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
GOODBYE
.Richie.
one hand around me
while the other hand
pushes me away
one kiss is wet
while the other
regrets it stayed
this is not an obligation
this is a gift
this is something special
you are fucking with
i can’t go
from being special
to jus being
normal, babe
i got too
much
invested
too much i gave
if you ask me
how i am doin
i am goin
to tell you the truth
i am tore up
i am conflicted
i hurt
for what i stand to lose
but i
can’t go
straight to normal
when special
is what it is with you
having to say
goodbye
because you can’t
see something
special
in your grasp
having to say
goodbye
because fireworks
have yet
to blast
having to say
goodbye
because
you don’t
think this
can last
you should be
askin yourself
why
you would let
me go
instead
of putting this
in a box
you readily know
with
some risk
there is a chance
this can grow
or
it could
be a
disaster
i dunno
but it’s
better
than having
to say goodbye
i think
you need
to start
asking
new questions
why...
why would you want to say goodbye now?
one hand around me
while the other hand
pushes me away
one kiss is wet
while the other
regrets it stayed
this is not an obligation
this is a gift
this is something special
you are fucking with
i can’t go
from being special
to jus being
normal, babe
i got too
much
invested
too much i gave
if you ask me
how i am doin
i am goin
to tell you the truth
i am tore up
i am conflicted
i hurt
for what i stand to lose
but i
can’t go
straight to normal
when special
is what it is with you
having to say
goodbye
because you can’t
see something
special
in your grasp
having to say
goodbye
because fireworks
have yet
to blast
having to say
goodbye
because
you don’t
think this
can last
you should be
askin yourself
why
you would let
me go
instead
of putting this
in a box
you readily know
with
some risk
there is a chance
this can grow
or
it could
be a
disaster
i dunno
but it’s
better
than having
to say goodbye
i think
you need
to start
asking
new questions
why...
why would you want to say goodbye now?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
UNLEASHED: CONTEXT
.Richie.
If I look back at my life, it is broken into very discreet identities.
Almost like i have been many different persons throughout different lifestages.
Everything is marked by some kind of extreme change...
Leaving family.
Leaving organized religion.
Moving to a different coastline.
To another coastline.
Leaving the country.
Again
and again.
The "trauma" behind these changes push me to evolve.
And who I am now is rapidly changing this year.
Almost like each month, something different manifests.
The way I live is matching up with who I am inside.
Bolder. Taking more risks. Open to experimentation. Still sensitive but a real man.
The word "unleashed" came up last night when conversing with Rio.
And I grabbed onto it.
Because that is how I feel.
I feel a bit ferocious. Hungry. Still chill but intense. Definitive in who I am and what I want and will take.
It's really fucking cool.
But I am learning that not everyone you had as a friend will always support the evolved you...
And it's sad.
But it's life.
I want people in my life I can love full on as myself.
If I look back at my life, it is broken into very discreet identities.
Almost like i have been many different persons throughout different lifestages.
Everything is marked by some kind of extreme change...
Leaving family.
Leaving organized religion.
Moving to a different coastline.
To another coastline.
Leaving the country.
Again
and again.
The "trauma" behind these changes push me to evolve.
And who I am now is rapidly changing this year.
Almost like each month, something different manifests.
The way I live is matching up with who I am inside.
Bolder. Taking more risks. Open to experimentation. Still sensitive but a real man.
The word "unleashed" came up last night when conversing with Rio.
And I grabbed onto it.
Because that is how I feel.
I feel a bit ferocious. Hungry. Still chill but intense. Definitive in who I am and what I want and will take.
It's really fucking cool.
But I am learning that not everyone you had as a friend will always support the evolved you...
And it's sad.
But it's life.
I want people in my life I can love full on as myself.
Monday, April 13, 2009
UNLEASHED
Dedicated to R.U.
.Richie.
i am reborn
the old
had to end
some people
jus could not
contend
it was a situation
i could never win
as much as
i’m blessed
by grace
i thrive in sin
unleashed
i will make no
excuses
for
who i am
i will
not
change
i will NOT change
for any boy or man
take apart
me
but
fuckin’
know where i
stand
i was
compromised
by my
sensitivities
i surrounded
myself
by people
with insecurities
they did
not want me
to shine
or be bold
they wanted
me
quiet
a story
untold
but i have
thoughts
people will never
dream up
i have
passion
that overflows
every
fuckin’ cup
i am
unleashed
and no one
person
can contain me
this
is my
freedom
this
is my fuckin
legacy
the world
has not
even begun
to see
me
i
am tickled
by imagination
and controversy
so
many things
i have to say
that
people don’t
want to hear
i am
bored
with
the apathy
whispering
in my ear
individuals
who can’t schedule
what
is important
over the superficial
never
knowing
if this is real
or existential
it’s not
a state
of flee
or die
i jus’
see things
with
different eyes
i know
that i am
uncomfortable
in my
desire
to express
i am
as uncomfortable
as that murmur
in ur chest
erratic
hearbeat
goes
beat
beat
but
mine pounds
it pounds
the fuckin’
street
there is
nothing
here
nothing
that is
weak
this is
screaming
screaming
as i speak
i speak
i am
unleashed
take me
as i am
or
i will
not give
a damn
i will cut you out
as
soon as
i can
no good
is no good
for me
i will
cut you out
completely
get your fuckin’
priorities straight
straight up
respect me
i am unleashed
a powerful force
do not
fuckin’
protect me
recognize
there is
no one
quite like me
and know
that is
what
attracts you
to me
i am no
one’s
fucking type
i am not
old
i am
fucking ripe
bite into me
and taste
this meaty
flesh
i take
your head
i push
it against
my chest
my hearts
pounding
from
profound
unrest
like a
sinner
to a saint
find
your worst
and confess
i make
no
apologies
and
you have THIS
opportunity
to have me
this near
unleashed
i
will give
you everything
i will give
it all
without fear
but
i won’t
tolerate
a pussy
do you hear
see
my uniqueness
and fuckin
hold me
near
i
don’t stay
i won’t
stay
if
you are not
here.
get your priorities
straight.
.Richie.
i am reborn
the old
had to end
some people
jus could not
contend
it was a situation
i could never win
as much as
i’m blessed
by grace
i thrive in sin
unleashed
i will make no
excuses
for
who i am
i will
not
change
i will NOT change
for any boy or man
take apart
me
but
fuckin’
know where i
stand
i was
compromised
by my
sensitivities
i surrounded
myself
by people
with insecurities
they did
not want me
to shine
or be bold
they wanted
me
quiet
a story
untold
but i have
thoughts
people will never
dream up
i have
passion
that overflows
every
fuckin’ cup
i am
unleashed
and no one
person
can contain me
this
is my
freedom
this
is my fuckin
legacy
the world
has not
even begun
to see
me
i
am tickled
by imagination
and controversy
so
many things
i have to say
that
people don’t
want to hear
i am
bored
with
the apathy
whispering
in my ear
individuals
who can’t schedule
what
is important
over the superficial
never
knowing
if this is real
or existential
it’s not
a state
of flee
or die
i jus’
see things
with
different eyes
i know
that i am
uncomfortable
in my
desire
to express
i am
as uncomfortable
as that murmur
in ur chest
erratic
hearbeat
goes
beat
beat
but
mine pounds
it pounds
the fuckin’
street
there is
nothing
here
nothing
that is
weak
this is
screaming
screaming
as i speak
i speak
i am
unleashed
take me
as i am
or
i will
not give
a damn
i will cut you out
as
soon as
i can
no good
is no good
for me
i will
cut you out
completely
get your fuckin’
priorities straight
straight up
respect me
i am unleashed
a powerful force
do not
fuckin’
protect me
recognize
there is
no one
quite like me
and know
that is
what
attracts you
to me
i am no
one’s
fucking type
i am not
old
i am
fucking ripe
bite into me
and taste
this meaty
flesh
i take
your head
i push
it against
my chest
my hearts
pounding
from
profound
unrest
like a
sinner
to a saint
find
your worst
and confess
i make
no
apologies
and
you have THIS
opportunity
to have me
this near
unleashed
i
will give
you everything
i will give
it all
without fear
but
i won’t
tolerate
a pussy
do you hear
see
my uniqueness
and fuckin
hold me
near
i
don’t stay
i won’t
stay
if
you are not
here.
get your priorities
straight.
PANDORA'S BOX
.Richie.
jealousy
is not havin’ faith
in what
you’ve got
tainted
imagination
only takes
one indiscreet
thought
i got
laid
with the time
we’ve bought
i trust
you
you are all
i’ve caught
hell
hath no fury
if it ain’t
what we
sought
this is
simple
chill
and
on the spot
i have
no intentions
other than
protectin’
what i got
this is gonna be
some powerful
shit
i got some explainin’
to do
you’re like black magic
my dark voodoo
i can’t shake off
how good it is
when i am wit you
my talisman
my special mark
like a fresh bite
against my skin
i am stained
by your
existence
when
a night
together ends
the waiting period
becomes
a question
i want to suspend
there’s
always another
night
to fall into
and pay
dividends
keep your
world
solid
and i will
keep a hold
of mine
privacy
respect
is
the we
age this
like a fine
wine
it’ll
jus
get bolder
richer
and more
complex
with time
right now
i jus
wanna hold
you close
we don’t
have
to whisper
“mine”
jealousy
is not havin’ faith
in what
you’ve got
tainted
imagination
only takes
one indiscreet
thought
i got
laid
with the time
we’ve bought
i trust
you
you are all
i’ve caught
hell
hath no fury
if it ain’t
what we
sought
this is
simple
chill
and
on the spot
i have
no intentions
other than
protectin’
what i got
this is gonna be
some powerful
shit
i got some explainin’
to do
you’re like black magic
my dark voodoo
i can’t shake off
how good it is
when i am wit you
my talisman
my special mark
like a fresh bite
against my skin
i am stained
by your
existence
when
a night
together ends
the waiting period
becomes
a question
i want to suspend
there’s
always another
night
to fall into
and pay
dividends
keep your
world
solid
and i will
keep a hold
of mine
privacy
respect
is
the we
age this
like a fine
wine
it’ll
jus
get bolder
richer
and more
complex
with time
right now
i jus
wanna hold
you close
we don’t
have
to whisper
“mine”
DIVIDED ATTENTIONS
.Richie.
i never needed you
i never needed your affection
i never needed your word
i never needed your protection
i never got that fucking shit anyways
so why even pursue that direction
i am in a state of want
if you have any other kind of impression
and the way you talk
your intelligence gives me
a mental erection
i think i could succumb
and let you play boss
and give me some fucking direction
you were
supposed
to just be
random, man
and yet
my attentions
are divided
and
you become
more compelling
the way you stand
you
hold your own
with me
you pass on
some
ridiculous energy
i know
there
are really unusual things
that you
wanna do
with me
as one hand
seems
to push me
further away
your hold
gets tighter
the longer
i let you stay
i didn’t
want this
to ever be this way
but it’s
what happens
when there’s
fire
and you let yourself play
we exchange energy
when we pass each other on the street
when we volley texts
when we hook on the occasions we meet
i was never a martyr
but i no longer have the energy
to push back on givin’ you what you want to eat
this bounty is yours
you were the more skilled hunter
and all of this
could be yours alone to keep
the other driver
had the car
but he was asleep
at the wheel
it's how
somethin’ good
gets itself
fuckin’ killed
and attentions get divided.
i never needed you
i never needed your affection
i never needed your word
i never needed your protection
i never got that fucking shit anyways
so why even pursue that direction
i am in a state of want
if you have any other kind of impression
and the way you talk
your intelligence gives me
a mental erection
i think i could succumb
and let you play boss
and give me some fucking direction
you were
supposed
to just be
random, man
and yet
my attentions
are divided
and
you become
more compelling
the way you stand
you
hold your own
with me
you pass on
some
ridiculous energy
i know
there
are really unusual things
that you
wanna do
with me
as one hand
seems
to push me
further away
your hold
gets tighter
the longer
i let you stay
i didn’t
want this
to ever be this way
but it’s
what happens
when there’s
fire
and you let yourself play
we exchange energy
when we pass each other on the street
when we volley texts
when we hook on the occasions we meet
i was never a martyr
but i no longer have the energy
to push back on givin’ you what you want to eat
this bounty is yours
you were the more skilled hunter
and all of this
could be yours alone to keep
the other driver
had the car
but he was asleep
at the wheel
it's how
somethin’ good
gets itself
fuckin’ killed
and attentions get divided.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
CUT YOU
.Richie.
when were you good for me
for ME
and not for US
when were you loving ME
when you broke
that physical trust
i gave this body
so naively
thinking
this completed us
that this sacred
transaction
transcended
unsustainable lust
now there’s no reason
there’s no reason to have any doubt
no purpose for you in my life
i think i’ll have to cut you out
i want to cut you
i want to cut you out
let my happiness
bleed you out
drip and cry
cry it out
this kiss
is a dagger
i want to ram
in your back
this smile
is like murder
with a plan
of attack
this word
is premeditated
and that
is a fact
you have
no hold
i do not
want you back
i say this with fucking anger
and i say it with laughter because i can
i find your whining pathetic
grow some balls
you’re a goddamn grown man
there is an age
where life with no purpose
is no longer a valid excuse
when lashing out
at those who supported you
illuminates what you will lose
this fuck
is not friendly
it’s a solemn
hit and run
these eyes
are not forgiving
they are
the barrel of my gun
this mouth
is violence in its sweetness
it is pink glass shards
sugar spun
and this novelty
that i called displaced anger
is my coming together
as you come undone
self absorbed
pity party
perros
is always feelin’ down
you look
for any ear
to hear your pitiful sound
but it’s always
gimme gimme
to whoever is around
when will you man up
and stop lickin’ the ground
if you think it’s too much
to handle my happiness
then i want you to go fuck yourself
till you bleed
if you find my strength
caused you resentment
then i will cut you out
and i will not for one moment grieve
when were you good for me
for ME
and not for US
when were you loving ME
when you broke
that physical trust
i gave this body
so naively
thinking
this completed us
that this sacred
transaction
transcended
unsustainable lust
now there’s no reason
there’s no reason to have any doubt
no purpose for you in my life
i think i’ll have to cut you out
i want to cut you
i want to cut you out
let my happiness
bleed you out
drip and cry
cry it out
this kiss
is a dagger
i want to ram
in your back
this smile
is like murder
with a plan
of attack
this word
is premeditated
and that
is a fact
you have
no hold
i do not
want you back
i say this with fucking anger
and i say it with laughter because i can
i find your whining pathetic
grow some balls
you’re a goddamn grown man
there is an age
where life with no purpose
is no longer a valid excuse
when lashing out
at those who supported you
illuminates what you will lose
this fuck
is not friendly
it’s a solemn
hit and run
these eyes
are not forgiving
they are
the barrel of my gun
this mouth
is violence in its sweetness
it is pink glass shards
sugar spun
and this novelty
that i called displaced anger
is my coming together
as you come undone
self absorbed
pity party
perros
is always feelin’ down
you look
for any ear
to hear your pitiful sound
but it’s always
gimme gimme
to whoever is around
when will you man up
and stop lickin’ the ground
if you think it’s too much
to handle my happiness
then i want you to go fuck yourself
till you bleed
if you find my strength
caused you resentment
then i will cut you out
and i will not for one moment grieve
Monday, March 30, 2009
TITHE
(Richie)
you’re my dark angel
sleeping beside me
my willing temptation
i let inside me
you’re my patron saint
i slide into
my religious experience
i give tithes too
bow down
sex is sacrilegious
this is sweet-fucking
and it’s fucking prestigious
i let you have me
and you taste fucking delicious
my new religion
nothing is gonna come in between us
you’re like a bible ready to be cracked open
spread your legs wide
i got a testimony i am ready to share
get devoted and come ride
tag the confessional
with wet graffiti
i give in
to what you choose to gimme
i choose faith
so blindfold me completely
take my heart
and come crucify me deeply
you’re my dark angel
sleeping beside me
my willing temptation
i let inside me
you’re my patron saint
i slide into
my religious experience
i give tithes too
bow down
sex is sacrilegious
this is sweet-fucking
and it’s fucking prestigious
i let you have me
and you taste fucking delicious
my new religion
nothing is gonna come in between us
you’re like a bible ready to be cracked open
spread your legs wide
i got a testimony i am ready to share
get devoted and come ride
tag the confessional
with wet graffiti
i give in
to what you choose to gimme
i choose faith
so blindfold me completely
take my heart
and come crucify me deeply
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
PAIN & BLISS
(Richie)
it’s that constant fork in the road
and we have to stop and ask
which path we gonna take
i just go with my gut
there may be no road ahead
but i am goin to keep goin straight
there is no visibility
or way i can break
this could end dangerously
as a fucking mistake
but i want that thrill
of having everything i feel at stake
over the edge you keep pushin me
and i just accelerate
pain & bliss
holy shit
this is
passionate lust
the kinda babe
that grabs your heart
thru ur motherfuckin nuts
the kiss that makes
you go dirty
cuz he got your trust
it’s an open fist
and his words are like
dust
you’re the one gettin sweet
he eyed the field
and cum to harvust
i get off on the tension
between pleasure and pain
like throwing my body
in front of a speedin train
it misses the killing blow
like the roaring wind ate my name
i’m getting owned
by an attraction i can’t explain
i just hit the fork in the road
and i go straight again
pain & bliss
this is playin with my heartbeat
erratic
you got that grip
on my rock so tight
i almost had it
you’re gonna bleed me out
and cut me up
your kisses roll down my back
and i’m your virtuous slut
it’s that constant fork in the road
and we have to stop and ask
which path we gonna take
i just go with my gut
there may be no road ahead
but i am goin to keep goin straight
there is no visibility
or way i can break
this could end dangerously
as a fucking mistake
but i want that thrill
of having everything i feel at stake
over the edge you keep pushin me
and i just accelerate
pain & bliss
holy shit
this is
passionate lust
the kinda babe
that grabs your heart
thru ur motherfuckin nuts
the kiss that makes
you go dirty
cuz he got your trust
it’s an open fist
and his words are like
dust
you’re the one gettin sweet
he eyed the field
and cum to harvust
i get off on the tension
between pleasure and pain
like throwing my body
in front of a speedin train
it misses the killing blow
like the roaring wind ate my name
i’m getting owned
by an attraction i can’t explain
i just hit the fork in the road
and i go straight again
pain & bliss
this is playin with my heartbeat
erratic
you got that grip
on my rock so tight
i almost had it
you’re gonna bleed me out
and cut me up
your kisses roll down my back
and i’m your virtuous slut
Sunday, March 22, 2009
LEARN 2 HUNT
Dedicated to G.M.
(richie)
sniff sniff
the hunt is on
wolf growls
his feral song
you say u used to be good
at this shit
but you lost your touch
i say fuckin reclaim it
it means too much
to own a man’s sightline
they can’t keep their eyes off your mystery
trying to figure you out
why you is, what you is, with no context or history
it’s cool to own that moment
when you know they want to rock your jock
i say take their gaze
confiscate it,
burn it
into the hands of the clock
tick tock
tick tock
until their dreams are wet
with the pants they wish you’d drop
but you know when to start it
and when to stop
learn 2 hunt
why wait for him
when you know what you want
i call it wonderful
i call it fuckin cool
i call it the confidence a real dude flaunts
and the posers daunt
sometimes a boy
doesn’t deserve a triple x
he is just gonna get an “o”
that’s cuz
he was the hottest play
of the evening
which equates to
hoe
hoe
hoe
but i think you know
like i know
when a guy holds the interest
for longer than
a really good blow
it’s time to shift the game
hunt is on
wolf is roaring
get it get it
go go
learn 2 hunt
learn 2 pounce
learn 2 make it
till he knows there’s passion that counts
heart in teeth
and lust fresh against your skin
swagger on
u caught your prey
he’s your boy, not your men
(richie)
sniff sniff
the hunt is on
wolf growls
his feral song
you say u used to be good
at this shit
but you lost your touch
i say fuckin reclaim it
it means too much
to own a man’s sightline
they can’t keep their eyes off your mystery
trying to figure you out
why you is, what you is, with no context or history
it’s cool to own that moment
when you know they want to rock your jock
i say take their gaze
confiscate it,
burn it
into the hands of the clock
tick tock
tick tock
until their dreams are wet
with the pants they wish you’d drop
but you know when to start it
and when to stop
learn 2 hunt
why wait for him
when you know what you want
i call it wonderful
i call it fuckin cool
i call it the confidence a real dude flaunts
and the posers daunt
sometimes a boy
doesn’t deserve a triple x
he is just gonna get an “o”
that’s cuz
he was the hottest play
of the evening
which equates to
hoe
hoe
hoe
but i think you know
like i know
when a guy holds the interest
for longer than
a really good blow
it’s time to shift the game
hunt is on
wolf is roaring
get it get it
go go
learn 2 hunt
learn 2 pounce
learn 2 make it
till he knows there’s passion that counts
heart in teeth
and lust fresh against your skin
swagger on
u caught your prey
he’s your boy, not your men
Monday, March 9, 2009
ARM CANDY
(Richie)
i am goin out just because i want some public attention
i am a carnivore with an exhibitionistic appetite
i feel like waxing superficial like madame tussaud’s rendtion
i want to grab the neck of the night
and bite
bite
b-b-bite
gimme arm candy
so i am well armed
and pitbull doesn’t bark tonight
i feel like playing
so gimme something sweet
so i don’t pull out and fight
aiight
i was holed up last night and chilling in seclusion
flashing my neighbors for a cheap thrill
i liked granting myself the wish of self delusion
that having social lubrication goes against my will
gimme arm candy
you can jus be the pretty gun
by my side all evening
and when the night is over
and we are sloshed
we can take it home steaming
if cumming home
is the price to pay
for keeping the dudes off-jock
then i am willing to pay
loads of appreciation
on and off the clock
i don’t like sweet things
they make my teeth ache
and fragile playthings
they tend to break
the more they try to make sense
out of what you want to make
they don’t get this is one night only
and not something you set up stakes
fun is candy and i spit it out
when i am finished sucking
but if you got my interest
take my mind, take my heart
and start your fucking
i am goin out just because i want some public attention
i am a carnivore with an exhibitionistic appetite
i feel like waxing superficial like madame tussaud’s rendtion
i want to grab the neck of the night
and bite
bite
b-b-bite
gimme arm candy
so i am well armed
and pitbull doesn’t bark tonight
i feel like playing
so gimme something sweet
so i don’t pull out and fight
aiight
i was holed up last night and chilling in seclusion
flashing my neighbors for a cheap thrill
i liked granting myself the wish of self delusion
that having social lubrication goes against my will
gimme arm candy
you can jus be the pretty gun
by my side all evening
and when the night is over
and we are sloshed
we can take it home steaming
if cumming home
is the price to pay
for keeping the dudes off-jock
then i am willing to pay
loads of appreciation
on and off the clock
i don’t like sweet things
they make my teeth ache
and fragile playthings
they tend to break
the more they try to make sense
out of what you want to make
they don’t get this is one night only
and not something you set up stakes
fun is candy and i spit it out
when i am finished sucking
but if you got my interest
take my mind, take my heart
and start your fucking
Saturday, March 7, 2009
INKED
(Richie)
For V.R.
into life i welcome change
and discomfort and even pain
remind me i am alive
and why i can not stay the same
babe, in this significant time
i want to spend it with you
you are like black ink
marking me like a tattoo
the other guys
are trivial flirtations
more like exercise at the gym
i stay on top of my game
but i pass through them
like a superficial whim
you are like a pillar
of intimidation
i want to grind against
you are like an invasion
of my mind
after a night we just spent
you are breaking
the playfulness
and making me think harder
it’s why you are
still undefined
but your presence is growing larger
i should be feeling angst
but instead
i have a smile on my face
it’s like god pulled you in
to existence
from some unknown place
i am trying to
understand your language
and speak to your heart
but i am inexperienced
and i find comedy
in how i fumble in the dark
the intentions are there
to pull you in closer
i know you have to
at least recognize this
it is transparent
in my face
or when you’re sleeping
and i have to give you a kiss
i have a mad desire
to protect
and for the first time
not to direct
i want you to be you
when you are with me
i want to chill
and relax completely
how do i let you know
how truly different you are for me
that it freaks me out
but for me
the unknown fills me with excitement
and shreds a need for doubt
For V.R.
into life i welcome change
and discomfort and even pain
remind me i am alive
and why i can not stay the same
babe, in this significant time
i want to spend it with you
you are like black ink
marking me like a tattoo
the other guys
are trivial flirtations
more like exercise at the gym
i stay on top of my game
but i pass through them
like a superficial whim
you are like a pillar
of intimidation
i want to grind against
you are like an invasion
of my mind
after a night we just spent
you are breaking
the playfulness
and making me think harder
it’s why you are
still undefined
but your presence is growing larger
i should be feeling angst
but instead
i have a smile on my face
it’s like god pulled you in
to existence
from some unknown place
i am trying to
understand your language
and speak to your heart
but i am inexperienced
and i find comedy
in how i fumble in the dark
the intentions are there
to pull you in closer
i know you have to
at least recognize this
it is transparent
in my face
or when you’re sleeping
and i have to give you a kiss
i have a mad desire
to protect
and for the first time
not to direct
i want you to be you
when you are with me
i want to chill
and relax completely
how do i let you know
how truly different you are for me
that it freaks me out
but for me
the unknown fills me with excitement
and shreds a need for doubt
Thursday, March 5, 2009
TAME: CONTEXT
when i left to study in france, i remember telling my mom: "I have to go."
she was like: "but why?"
and i responded: "to find myself."
sometimes to get to the basics of who you are, you gotta step away.
i stepped out of the scenes, out of the excess, i simplified, i stuck to a tight circle of core friends who only brought me positivity.
and i got my shit together.
the concept behind tame is born more out of random conversations with diego, vic, greg, wilma, tameka...
it's not confined to the idea of dating or being social...
it's more of an observation...
that when you do get your shit together. when you truly are solid. independence is not a façade. it's a reality.
and it's an attractive force.
that naturally pushes you back out into the world.
a superficial messiah.
it doesn't take much time to fill air with nothing, texts that say nothing, rendez-vous avec xxx that lack substance...
if life is a continual pursuit of self, and what defines self.
then i know myself well enough to know that i will love again.
and i want to.
but i realize that that someone is going to be someone with the intelligence and foresight to tame me.
she was like: "but why?"
and i responded: "to find myself."
sometimes to get to the basics of who you are, you gotta step away.
i stepped out of the scenes, out of the excess, i simplified, i stuck to a tight circle of core friends who only brought me positivity.
and i got my shit together.
the concept behind tame is born more out of random conversations with diego, vic, greg, wilma, tameka...
it's not confined to the idea of dating or being social...
it's more of an observation...
that when you do get your shit together. when you truly are solid. independence is not a façade. it's a reality.
and it's an attractive force.
that naturally pushes you back out into the world.
a superficial messiah.
it doesn't take much time to fill air with nothing, texts that say nothing, rendez-vous avec xxx that lack substance...
if life is a continual pursuit of self, and what defines self.
then i know myself well enough to know that i will love again.
and i want to.
but i realize that that someone is going to be someone with the intelligence and foresight to tame me.
TAME
(Richie)
you got me filling my calendar
to socialize my nights
it’s war on
getting my star on
pitbull will bring it
if he has to bite
getting a snarl on
and dressing to the nines
i got tommy on speed dial
and a date to the guggenheim
lush trips with nick planned for hedonism
sun bathing with alex in fervent nepotism
it’s not difficult
to occupy my time
but wouldn’t you want to know
when i wanted you to be mine
i find being a socialisto
is second skin
to a superficial
nature
i can talk about nothing
all night long
i feel nothing
i will never hate him or her
but i will be seen
and i will create some scandal
if i need to be on tips of tongues
who needs to climb
to the top
when you can fuck minds
on the lower rung
i just want to be tamed
to think this is it
drives me insane
when i taste more
in certain moments
that better explain
attractions
passions
that i can’t contain
but hold my attention
enough
to say
get your leash out
and restrain
i am too independent
for my own good, so break me
and start to train
i could be yours
i can be tamed
you got me filling my calendar
to socialize my nights
it’s war on
getting my star on
pitbull will bring it
if he has to bite
getting a snarl on
and dressing to the nines
i got tommy on speed dial
and a date to the guggenheim
lush trips with nick planned for hedonism
sun bathing with alex in fervent nepotism
it’s not difficult
to occupy my time
but wouldn’t you want to know
when i wanted you to be mine
i find being a socialisto
is second skin
to a superficial
nature
i can talk about nothing
all night long
i feel nothing
i will never hate him or her
but i will be seen
and i will create some scandal
if i need to be on tips of tongues
who needs to climb
to the top
when you can fuck minds
on the lower rung
i just want to be tamed
to think this is it
drives me insane
when i taste more
in certain moments
that better explain
attractions
passions
that i can’t contain
but hold my attention
enough
to say
get your leash out
and restrain
i am too independent
for my own good, so break me
and start to train
i could be yours
i can be tamed
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
THE TRUTH: CONTEXT
it may be the kinda poem that only resonates with me...
but when i wrote THE TRUTH, this song by James Morrison was playing called "Broken Strings."
and the writing just flowed out of me...
it was last week, prior to going out with the boys to celebrate Greg's last hurrah as a 30something, that I had this strange but potent realization: I AM NOT A GOOD GUY.
i mean that is too simplistic of a statement, but the idea is right on.
i realized that i WANT people to think i am kinda pure.
that i am sweet and kind and altruistic.
but my actions speak louder than words.
i am NOT perfect. i am NOT good. i am actually pretty bad in some instances.
maybe i am more hedonistic as a single guy... or finally cool to date and be open with someone, that it brings out a more interesting (to me at least) dimension to my personality.
all i do know is, i don't have the desire or compulsion to be so pristine and "perfect."
not only is it unrealistic, it is fucking boring.
the truth is about recognizing the devil on my shoulder and being at peace with him hanging around.
and about wanting people i let close to me, see me transparently. the good and the bad.
i don't want to skew things in my favor anymore in that sense.
i know how to say things to manipulate my "brand perception."
and i am not into that at all.
i want you to know i have disrespected my body, my mind, my friends, my family throughout my life.
as much as i have grown from my dark moments and have the confidence to show both my light and dark sides.
but when i wrote THE TRUTH, this song by James Morrison was playing called "Broken Strings."
and the writing just flowed out of me...
it was last week, prior to going out with the boys to celebrate Greg's last hurrah as a 30something, that I had this strange but potent realization: I AM NOT A GOOD GUY.
i mean that is too simplistic of a statement, but the idea is right on.
i realized that i WANT people to think i am kinda pure.
that i am sweet and kind and altruistic.
but my actions speak louder than words.
i am NOT perfect. i am NOT good. i am actually pretty bad in some instances.
maybe i am more hedonistic as a single guy... or finally cool to date and be open with someone, that it brings out a more interesting (to me at least) dimension to my personality.
all i do know is, i don't have the desire or compulsion to be so pristine and "perfect."
not only is it unrealistic, it is fucking boring.
the truth is about recognizing the devil on my shoulder and being at peace with him hanging around.
and about wanting people i let close to me, see me transparently. the good and the bad.
i don't want to skew things in my favor anymore in that sense.
i know how to say things to manipulate my "brand perception."
and i am not into that at all.
i want you to know i have disrespected my body, my mind, my friends, my family throughout my life.
as much as i have grown from my dark moments and have the confidence to show both my light and dark sides.
THE TRUTH
(Richie)
there is nothing more attractive than the confidence
to let honesty be the only clothing you wear
no armor, no protection from the brutality and bliss
of a world you are strong enough to bear
the truth is i am not as sweet as i want the world to see me
the truth is i am not as bad as my christian roots plant me
the truth is am not as giving as i seek to be
the truth is the truth and i want at least that to be what defines me
i know like bees to pollen i have become a lightning rod
for smiles, for stares, for french kisses, and sloppy nights
i realize there is no rationale for this gravitational pull
other than if i were nighttime, i would tell you i am dark as night
i tripped into masquerades like a fool desperate for attention
but too insecure to really let myself be seen
and i don’t when it was first that i could look into a mirror
and see something unique in what i could mean
some will want to love me.
some will call me fugly.
some will want me to crucify.
some will never meet my eye.
some is not the sum of my parts.
some is not the acknowledgement of my light and my dark.
the truth is i found the most peace
in accepting i am not a perfect man
i do things, i say things
that cast the aspersions i should be damned
the truth hurts
as it is my saving grace
to pass on the mantle of the good son
takes me to an entirely new place
there is nothing more attractive than the confidence
to let honesty be the only clothing you wear
no armor, no protection from the brutality and bliss
of a world you are strong enough to bear
the truth is i am not as sweet as i want the world to see me
the truth is i am not as bad as my christian roots plant me
the truth is am not as giving as i seek to be
the truth is the truth and i want at least that to be what defines me
i know like bees to pollen i have become a lightning rod
for smiles, for stares, for french kisses, and sloppy nights
i realize there is no rationale for this gravitational pull
other than if i were nighttime, i would tell you i am dark as night
i tripped into masquerades like a fool desperate for attention
but too insecure to really let myself be seen
and i don’t when it was first that i could look into a mirror
and see something unique in what i could mean
some will want to love me.
some will call me fugly.
some will want me to crucify.
some will never meet my eye.
some is not the sum of my parts.
some is not the acknowledgement of my light and my dark.
the truth is i found the most peace
in accepting i am not a perfect man
i do things, i say things
that cast the aspersions i should be damned
the truth hurts
as it is my saving grace
to pass on the mantle of the good son
takes me to an entirely new place
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
MUSE
(Richie)
I had hit this moment of domestic bliss at the end of 08 with my platonic boyfriend that actually acted as a bridge to get me to where I am today.
But during that period, I guess I just went into a state of silence.
It was cool though.
Those were special times.
To be intimate with someone, to enjoy life and not to be so staunch as an 'individual' but to see the merits in socializing...
And I crossed that bridge into 09 and things seem to really have changed dramatically.
For the better.
It's like there is total clarity.
I know what I want now.
I have had some muses in early 09 that have been inspiring my writing lately...
There is this amazing confidence... that I can't really explain... that comes in being at total peace with who you are as a man.
And in this state, I find these interactions with my muses... they make me see the world in a new way.
In unexpected ways.
I had hit this moment of domestic bliss at the end of 08 with my platonic boyfriend that actually acted as a bridge to get me to where I am today.
But during that period, I guess I just went into a state of silence.
It was cool though.
Those were special times.
To be intimate with someone, to enjoy life and not to be so staunch as an 'individual' but to see the merits in socializing...
And I crossed that bridge into 09 and things seem to really have changed dramatically.
For the better.
It's like there is total clarity.
I know what I want now.
I have had some muses in early 09 that have been inspiring my writing lately...
There is this amazing confidence... that I can't really explain... that comes in being at total peace with who you are as a man.
And in this state, I find these interactions with my muses... they make me see the world in a new way.
In unexpected ways.
OPEN INVITATION
(Richie)
For V.R.
do you ever pursue something
knowing that the end will be near...
that when you reach that edge
you’re not going to like what you hear?
and yet it propels you forward
over that edge and into the unknown...
like you are incapable of your actions
behaving like a submissive drone.
i see you
and it’s like
we’re from
different planets
but i get
you close
to me
and i can’t command it
the way
our bodies
align
is like
some predictive
sign
i feel you
like the sun’s rays
breaking me with your smile
whatever this is
feels so natural
to bake in
for a lil while
it’s why for you
i give an open invitation
to test my patience
for this opposite attraction
why i invite you
to break my heart
or to wreck my mind
until i give in to all of your passion
i invite you
to make me question
my independence
when my lips taste some other guys
i ask you
to make me pursue something
that goes against
all of my life’s tides
in the end
the risk
is the reward
For V.R.
do you ever pursue something
knowing that the end will be near...
that when you reach that edge
you’re not going to like what you hear?
and yet it propels you forward
over that edge and into the unknown...
like you are incapable of your actions
behaving like a submissive drone.
i see you
and it’s like
we’re from
different planets
but i get
you close
to me
and i can’t command it
the way
our bodies
align
is like
some predictive
sign
i feel you
like the sun’s rays
breaking me with your smile
whatever this is
feels so natural
to bake in
for a lil while
it’s why for you
i give an open invitation
to test my patience
for this opposite attraction
why i invite you
to break my heart
or to wreck my mind
until i give in to all of your passion
i invite you
to make me question
my independence
when my lips taste some other guys
i ask you
to make me pursue something
that goes against
all of my life’s tides
in the end
the risk
is the reward
FUCK YOU
(Richie)
once i let you abandon me
and i crawled
in the mud
back to your embrace
so tied to you
i took on
the semblance of your face
and now
now
now
i look at what was
from a completely different place
in my words
there was softness
but in my mouth
there’s nothing but bile to taste
this is
my
fuck you
to
you
i am bored
with grown men
acting
like fucking
children
i am pissed
at lovers
who love
to love on their own dicks
i am sick
of lame excuses
and regressive games
and unintelligent tricks
if you can’t stand
on the ground
you walk on
i want
you
to fucking
walk on
i am not into pussy
so run kitty run
i am thru with therapy
this session has had its run
run its course
and i learned from my mistake
i don’t play with relationships
where i have no stake
‘ur so vain
i bet you think
this song
is about u’
because we shared
an intimate time
no, this is my
dilation
of anger
my fuck you
my get off
my fucking mind
once i let you abandon me
and i crawled
in the mud
back to your embrace
so tied to you
i took on
the semblance of your face
and now
now
now
i look at what was
from a completely different place
in my words
there was softness
but in my mouth
there’s nothing but bile to taste
this is
my
fuck you
to
you
i am bored
with grown men
acting
like fucking
children
i am pissed
at lovers
who love
to love on their own dicks
i am sick
of lame excuses
and regressive games
and unintelligent tricks
if you can’t stand
on the ground
you walk on
i want
you
to fucking
walk on
i am not into pussy
so run kitty run
i am thru with therapy
this session has had its run
run its course
and i learned from my mistake
i don’t play with relationships
where i have no stake
‘ur so vain
i bet you think
this song
is about u’
because we shared
an intimate time
no, this is my
dilation
of anger
my fuck you
my get off
my fucking mind
VERSATILITY IS NOT THE BITCH
(Richie)
i know you want desire -
you want me
hungry to taste
your flesh.
you want your reflection
mirrored in my eyes
as our bodies
mesh
and press,
press the button play
play back rewind
analyze my actions
just one more
time...
what i give you
is wickedly divine
and
subversively mine
versatility is not the bitch
i am just a slut
for you
just for you
your bitch
who plants kisses
on other lips
it’s like wanking
with just
their fingertips
no traction
no passion
without the grips
like lazy rivers
when i want
leche explosions
between
your hips
balance
balance me out
take my body
fuck the doubt
fuck it
fuck it
right out.
versatiliity
slide
into me
like a shadow
fall over me
read my mind
from behind
one more time
let me unwind
now go
go make a baby
like i’m your bitch
your symbolic boy
is feeling rich
rich like daddy
just gave him an allowance
that could make a trust fund kid gleam
the wealth of knowing
your man is your boy
my boy is my man
is like a consummated wet dream
it’s not
filthy
or wrong
to consider
how you make
me feel
inside...
with you
i get the feeling
i should sit back
and enjoy
the ride...
control
is a
multifaceted
proposition...
i’d like
to take
it
in every
compromising
position.
i know you want desire -
you want me
hungry to taste
your flesh.
you want your reflection
mirrored in my eyes
as our bodies
mesh
and press,
press the button play
play back rewind
analyze my actions
just one more
time...
what i give you
is wickedly divine
and
subversively mine
versatility is not the bitch
i am just a slut
for you
just for you
your bitch
who plants kisses
on other lips
it’s like wanking
with just
their fingertips
no traction
no passion
without the grips
like lazy rivers
when i want
leche explosions
between
your hips
balance
balance me out
take my body
fuck the doubt
fuck it
fuck it
right out.
versatiliity
slide
into me
like a shadow
fall over me
read my mind
from behind
one more time
let me unwind
now go
go make a baby
like i’m your bitch
your symbolic boy
is feeling rich
rich like daddy
just gave him an allowance
that could make a trust fund kid gleam
the wealth of knowing
your man is your boy
my boy is my man
is like a consummated wet dream
it’s not
filthy
or wrong
to consider
how you make
me feel
inside...
with you
i get the feeling
i should sit back
and enjoy
the ride...
control
is a
multifaceted
proposition...
i’d like
to take
it
in every
compromising
position.
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