Chameleon.

Richie/

I am a chameleon
I am constantly changing
Who I am
It's never forced
It's just rapid evolution
For a self-made man

Heartbreak is a catalyst
It gives me strength
In a fractured kiss
It gives me hope
When devastation
And love manage to co-exist
Life is more interesting
When not in perpetual bliss
This changes the landscape
So I can re-focus

I am as uncomfortable
With my acceptance of change
As I am perplexed
With my willingness to suffer pain

How can love undergo
Such a radical transmutation
I feel the emotions
But I do not feel their permeatation

Some fibers hold on
And bind simple elements
Of companionship and sensuality
This love, I refuse,
To ever be ordinary
Or if it does, I create its finality

For me, intimacy
Exists more in the words
We have used to define this
I wish I had
Learned this from you sooner
Because now I bite your broken kiss

Hands clawing for you body
And open to your penetration
While at the same time
Shut down
Choosing only to feel than face consternation

This time I will not fight
Because my aggression pushes us apart
No, this time I open my fists
And I passively hold hope in my heart

Attraction that mysteriously binds us
And has a way of confounding our hearts
May still be too young to stand
That's why we play to get smart

Clandestine.

Richie/

For this to be so open
Why do I feel like
I am hidden in your cupboard
Feels like this love
Is clandestine
And exists in only
Our private words

Why do paths
Not cross
Like dances
Intermingle
Why is your society
Making me
Feel so
Single

When do we share
A stage
Like a phenomena
Made real
Do I look to
A miracle
As time passes
And I question
What we feel

Logical examinations
Only seem to confuse me
Tainted emotions
Only make me feel like
You abuse me

That this door will shut
And love will
Be broken
And harder I will fall
This insecurity comes
From the mystery
Of lives never
Overlapping
And the sense we stalled

Progress feels so
Tenuous
And I want you
To ache
To burn
For me
Like a fire that
Could never be
Extinguished
And yet I feel
You're so willing
To let go of me

Second time was sweeter
How come
The end feels much bleeker
I wish you'd
Kill my frustrations
And call me a keeper
I need some integration
Or this romance
Feels like a sleeper
And as you may feel closer
I grow suspect
And this bond
Becomes weaker

I want a Facebook status
That shows I am not
A hidden update
I want language
More respectful
Of intimacy
Than I am the guy
You date

I am substantial
I am more in this equation
I am not clandestine
I am not a figment
Of our imagination