_Like Me_

unabashed
and unashamed
open book
nada es ‘unexplained’
in life’s game of show and tell
this body is nothing but a shell
it can give you wood
or it can make you cringe ‘waif’
it can give you indecision
but by then it will be too late.

I’m not going to wait
for you to get me
to miss me
to kiss me
I am too transparent
for things to be unclear
and I am smart enough
to pick up on what is here

you want to be loved
and you want this figment of paradise
I just want depth
I want to be pushed like Iraqi G.I.s

more than satisfied
with what I got inside
more than pleased
that I have nothing to hide
if life has been a bitch
I want to take it for a ride
I want this decade
to be the one I felt most alive

so if you want to take me
take me for who I am
I know what I want
and I am a self-made man:

I like being a boy
won’t catch me in a dress
I like t-shirts
I don’t dress to impress
I like I am the antithesis
to the Adonis in the circuit cluster-fuck
I like I can talk about meaty subjects
while eating vegetarian duck
I like that I want a 3some
with a guy and a girl
I like that I can’t Manhunt
at the drop of a hot word
I like to feel connected
to every single emotion
I like thinking my individuality
is like some erotic love potion
I like that I am a paradox
emo with some flash
more of a top
with a super tight ass
I like to think
when I am on the streets with my ipod
about my life’s momentum
and my relationship with god
I like to think
that I am not white but a global citizen
able to cross into different worlds
like the son of god come risen
I like to like me
I am bored with humility
in this day and age
it feels like an act of futility
I believe in self-marketing
self-exploitation
I believe a daily wank
is like self-medication
I digress
and I don’t repress
like me
then I want you to express.

_Kiss_

I know we are friends
but right now,
kiss me.
I want to experience
again
what it feels like
to have my lips
touch the lips
of someone
who has touched my heart.
and I know
that you need
that experience too.

it may not be fireworks
it may not be the earth moving
but it’s true…
it may not be the movies you watch
that make you cry
and feel alone and blue…
but in this moment
I feel more of you
than I feel of me
and I want to close my eyes
and hold your thought
intimately.

I don’t want to sacrifice
this friendship
I found in an unexpected place
I don’t want to confuse
the lines
that we so delicately trace
I just want
for one moment
to step out of place.

it’s tender
and not the heat
I pursue
it’s to go deeper
and just
to get to know you
you’re an enigma
and maybe that is why
I reach out to you
or maybe
because I know
loneliness can not exist
when there are two.

Long & Hard

I want it long and hard.
Never easy.
I want the journey
to counteract
my desire
to act sleazy.
I want the kiss
to happen weeks
after the first date.
I want the giving
to be worth receiving
a long wait.
I want to feel
like a virgin
when I am no saint.
I want my body
to be a canvas
for him to paint
pretty words
what he thinks I deserve
and what I know I do
because I took time
to lean back
into what I know is true.


I like
to go the long way
so far removed
from my stereotype
to make me
want to stray
the wrong way
I like it
the hard way
the challenge
is what
drives me
to pray
and to play.

I want a Mexican
that looks like an Indian
I want a black boy
with some ebony skin
I want a boy
who brings my FedEx in
I want a church boy
who succumbs to sin
I want the polarization
to pull me in.

abercrombie and fitch
makes me itch
reminds me
of a Chelsea-boy-bitch
a whitewashed jock
with 2xist briefs
stuffed with a tube sock
I need some color
to the painting
to hold my gaze
something to contrast
everything
my environment conveys.

I want a nerd boy
a shy boy
a hot Thai boy
I want a homebody
with his nose
in a book
that goes over my head
I want a yogi
who likes to try new positions
on me
when I go to bed
I want a creative type
that can speak my language
with ease
I want a café server
who sees me
as an opportunity to please.

I know what it feels like
to be in a relationship
where you are not loved back
to give all of yourself
and realize
that is a useless tact
at bringing a sense of worth
to yourself and the bond
I learned this
after years
of going about it all wrong
I don’t want a filler
to take up my existence
I want some added value
to compliment
my persistence
someone that is going to go
the distance:
long and hard.

pendulum+

it is a sorrow
a physical shell can not contain
it is the question hanging
forever left unexplained
it is the future
completely rearranged
haphazard and chaotic
it is my life on a different plane

swept away
like particles of dust
eaten away
by the grip of rust
it is not yesterday anymore
or any less
it is upheaval
and it is me at my best

I confessed
to daydreaming about boys
way too much
I confessed
to them
like I could find peace
in their touch
I regressed
because I gave the man
the opportunity
to be my crutch
and when I could not walk alone
I realized
I gave them way too much

the happiness
will not come
from the brother
the happiness
will not come
from the lover
the happiness
is not going to be tied
to the whims of another

it is a journey
to my center
one door closed,
I had to find a better one to enter

léyoMI CUERPO [readMY BODY]

like a halfmade man
my upper half
is disconnected
from my lower self
I think I understand
I treat my body
like a trophy
on a dusty shelf

the mind roams free
the heart is like
a dream
free from captivity
but these
are not all of the things
that define me
control
like a push and pull
on the fabrics
of my existence
I am like a good catholic
chastity
meets such little resistance
tight and focused
on what is to be felt
it is a prescription
I choose the cards dealt

but I don’t want to hold back
any more
I don’t want to be inactive
in my passivity
I want to be active
in my receptivity
when you read my body
I want to feel the story flow
not held back
I want to let myself go
to give back
and grow